Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Former Congressman James A. Traficant (D-OH) Released from Prison

The Gentleman from Ohio is recognized for one minute:

Madam Speaker, I rise after five long years to proclaim my triumphant return to the political arena. My enemies believed this day would never come but now I stand before you as a free man, and like the gladiator I am, I will make good on my pledge to seek out my enemies and stab them in the damn crotch.

So much has happened since I have been gone. Our economy has gone to hell in a hand basket while the Communist Chinese are holding us over a barrel. Yet, the new Administration claims that things have gotten better...

Madam Speaker, beam me up!

Anybody who thinks that our economy is showing signs of progress is most certainly smoking dope. And now that I have returned to society, it looks like all of you are smoking dope!

The hard working people of the Mahonig Valley will not stand for this rhetoric and the mismanagement coming out of the White House. And so I say to you Mr. President, shove your stimulus package up your public option!

I yield back the remainder of the conjugal visits that I never got to use.